Wanting To Look Young

face-mirror.jpg
photo by antkriz

It doesn’t take an Einstein to see that all around us, people are obsessing over looking young. And those of us who wouldn’t say we were “obsessing” might still look longingly in the mirror now and again.

I thought I’d like to write my thoughts on this—and thank you to Evelyn Lim, who writes about how to attract abundance, for inspiring this post with a comment she left on one of my earlier posts.

I see the desire to look young in two ways, I guess.

One is that it can come from people being afraid of showing who they really are—a person comfortable with themselves doesn’t have to rush around getting botox and plastic surgery and so on. In this case, because trying to look young comes from fear, the striving, and often the results, are distasteful to many of us. There are some interesting articles about aging and plastic surgery on Vered’s mommy blog and Urban Panther’s life muser blog.

The other is that maybe when we try to look as youthful as possible, it’s because part of us knows that being youthful is the way we are meant to be. Physical aging somehow doesn’t truly make sense.

I think physical aging is a result of us not letting the life force flow through us as well as we might. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be a good idea to use aging as feedback and investigate how we have been blocking our energy and work on unblocking it? If we look younger as a result, it is because we have made inner changes (including loving ourselves more)—I don’t think this pursuit or its results would be distasteful to any of us.

Also, applying a lotion or potion can be an act of self-love, or looking after ourselves, and feel quite different to desperate obsessing. This can lead to other people reflecting our self-love back to us with, well, love.

These are some ways I see the desire to look young… how do you see it?

More posts, a random selection:

Comments

  1. I’m not sure. I guess I see it mostly as a useless, expensive, time-consuming fight against nature.

    Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Bloggers Who Quit

  2. Oh, very interesting thoughts here, Robin. When I stopped colouring my hair, and just let my natural grey shine forth, I was surprised at how many people told me how much younger I looked! Because I stopped trying to look younger!

    I have seen thirty year olds that look like sixty year olds, and sixty year olds that look like thirty year olds. Lifestyle and attitude have a huge part to play in that, I would think.

    Yes, very interesting ideas here. Will likely mull them around some more.

  3. Hello, Robin

    I love your blog! The images and stories are quite moving. If you have time and like the off-beat, then please take a few minutes and read a couple of my columns in my blog at http://everlastinglife23.blogspot.com. I take a Christian perspective, but I believe there are immortals in all traditions. When we all come together as one there won’t be any religious divisions; rather, we will just joyously experience each other as the perfect beings we are. Thank you so much for your blog and Let’s All Live Forever!!

    Harry Dales last blog post..Liberty Vs. Imposing Your Values On Others

  4. I don’t think we should judge any of it. Who cares what people do to their physical appearance young or old? To each their own with both inner and outer change

    It’s too bad our culture worships youth but it does, period. So be it.

  5. This is so true, I think I love the saying you are as young ( or old) as you feel. When we are feeling good- this is my experience- and are in the flow doing following our passion, making a difference I always feel great and think I look younger- think there are even less lines:)

    Letting go of blocked energy seems to so be important

    Namaste
    Suzie

    Suzie Cheels last blog post..Attracting Your Ideal Audience

  6. Interesting question you have here on “wouldn’t it be a good idea to use aging as feedback and investigate how we have been blocking our energy and work on unblocking it?” I never quite viewed it from your suggested perspective. I can’t say that I am obsessed with looks, but it would be lovely to investigate if it is possible to reduce the effects of aging, using energy healing or visualization methods!

    Evelyn Lims last blog post..Me In Every Thought

  7. Hi Robin – That sounds like a really good idea. I would love to be able to slow down, or even reverse the process of aging. And I really do think that something within us must speed up, or slow down the process.

    When I see folk who’ve aged far too quickly, it isn’t just the way they look that makes them look older. They just seem to have far less energy.

  8. I am judgmental about one group of folks who are trying to look younger – when my 23 year old was in high school there were lots of moms competing with their daughters and wearing teen clothing – trying to re-live their years and be best friends with their children. I thought it was truly sad and rather disfiguring – maybe even warping the parent child relationship.

    I just like looking healthy and with lots of energy…and I admire others who like that look too.

    Nice ideas and good sharing

    Patricias last blog post..Relationships and the Role of Boundaries

  9. Hi Robin… Great post!!
    Tricky questions and I love them.
    I was born in ’61 and I know that most of my life I’ve looked younger than my years and that it’s only in recent years that I’ve become aware of aging. I think that this may mostly be due to becoming a first time parent at 42 and this altering my relationship with the world around me.
    I do believe that the way that we age is a direct reflection of the way that we are living….. this being life of the mind, body & spirit.(more the mind)
    We can view our bodys like a map of our internal workings.
    We will never really know how others see us… what we do know is the illusions that we create for ourselves and therefore the outer is created by the inner vison(our internal map of reality).
    I don’t think that looking young is the key to longevity, but more being able to read your own outer map to enable you to have an understanding as to where your heading which in turn could create a younger you!
    Society tells us that youth is the key to freedom and therefore I think that’s why folks want to buy it. Maybe youth is the key to freedom, but not the way we’ve been thinking!

    Sorry to ramble… I love this stuff, because it has a ring of truth for me:-)

    best wishes always
    Ribbon

  10. Hi Darling

    When I used to look in the mirror years ago, I didn’t like what I saw, why I didn’t know, now I do it was because I didn’t like myself, or more to the point, what people thought of me, now I love myself, I never gave getting old any credence, I never thought about dying even though both my parents had at an early age, I have now lived longer than both of them, and have no plans to check out anytime. Life is Infinite.

    Peter O. Erbe In the book, GOD I AM, makes a statement about, why so many people spend so much money and so much time on products to make them look better(younger), going to the Gym exercising to get fit and look younger, only to put it in a BOX.

    Invest in SELF the GOD I AM

  11. @Vered – there’s certainly a lot of ridiculous carry on going on, isn’t there?! If many of these people “fighting” aging learned to love themselves as they are, they might even look better!
    @Urban Panther – I’ve seen someone else look younger with their grey hair! You’ve seen 60 yr olds who look like 30? Wow! I don’t think I have.
    @Harry – hi there Harry and welcome to this blog! And thanks for the compliments! It’s great to see another physical immortality blog out there, and I look forward to reading your posts!
    @Tess – I think you are quite right Tess! – it is never a good idea to judge other people’s actions and preferences. I hope my post didn’t come across like I was – I was trying to bring up the idea that fiddling with the outside is usually unfulfilling, and that other people reflect our inner fears back to us. Thanks for bringing up this point about judging!
    @Suzie – I love the way you bring up being “in the flow following our passion” – to me this is the most important thing (even if it is a quiet passion at times). From your Journey work you would know about unblocking energy!
    @Evelyn – yes, I think so – I think changes on the inside are what count – and the extra flowing energy has the added bonus of making us look more youthful.
    @Cath – hi Cath – great to see you! I think we all secretly know what we need to work on to get our life force flowing more freely – then when we do that, looking younger is a by-product!
    @Patricia – sounds like you have more people around you who have values more like yours, now. I like the look you describe too.
    @Ribbon – I think your comment is nearly as long as my post – I should get you to write my posts for me! The ghost post. And I love what you are saying – “We can view our bodies like a map of our internal workings.” and “I don’t think that looking young is the key to longevity, but more being able to read your own outer map to enable you to have an understanding as to where you’re heading which in turn could create a younger you!” – such good stuff! Thanks!
    @Frank – hi sweetie – here I am in the country writing to you on my blog! I’m glad you like the idea of not checking out – suits me just fine. I know you love that Peter Erbe book – I think I’ll read it next, when I’ve finished the second “Masters” book. x

  12. What I do to look young is nothing physical, rather more spiritual and mental. If you act young, take care of yourself, remain a bit goofy (and anyone who’s seem some of my videos understands what I mean), then your age will show less. The converse, sadly, is true too.

    peace,
    mike
    livelife365

    Mike Fosters last blog post..That’s Amore!

  13. Hi again…
    I’ve got a link at my place “audience with ancestors” that I think you might enjoy.
    It’s about Gorillas and it’s way cool 🙂

    Ribbon

    Ribbons last blog post..A delightful read…

  14. I equate feeling and looking young with health. Anyone, no matter what age, who is healthy and active and alert will look good. Anyone who is not, will not look good. So, I keep fit, eat well, get plenty of rest, pay attention to my health overall and keep my brain working. That’s far more important to me than external magic formulas.

    XUPs last blog post..News You Might Have Missed

  15. My take on this is that the pressure is hard to resist. People who are old are devalued and dismissed by a large segment of society. “Little old lady,” “dirty old man,” etc. I promised myself when I was young that I wouldn’t do phony things to myself and would be “authentic.” That vow wasn’t carried out completely. When my hair began to get white in places, I dyed it, mostly to fend off any doubts at work that I could handle my job. I didn’t want to be considered almost senile or incompetent if I made a mistake. I’m still debating about what will happen when I stop dyeing my hair soon.

    Also, as far as keeping fit to look young, I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been able to get fit or eat right, except in brief spurts, and now pain keeps me from exercising. All of my adult life I’ve looked 10 years younger than my age. This is genetic, but it helps me not to obsess about looking younger.

    Dots last blog post..April Showers and May Flowers

  16. Robin,
    I see it this way, this body that we are in is a temporary vessel and all the things we do in the end will not prevent this body from aging and eventually dieing. To me youth is a state of being, I don’t know how old my being is for I am certain that I have been around longer than this body which I presently inhabit and that I will be around long after this vehicle expires. I take care of this vessel however I don’t obsess over the changes which are part of the process. We must love who we are from the inside out rather than the outside in.

    Marks last blog post..The Present of Our Presence

  17. Thanks for this post. I think another way to put “being youthful is the way we were meant to be” might be to say that loving life unconditionally is what we’re meant to do, and we start feeling old or worn-out when we start to see living as a burden.

  18. Hi
    I think as long as we are healthy, that is all that matters. To age is human. Great post.
    Giovanna Garcia
    Imperfect Action is better than no Action

  19. Hi Robin. I’ve stopped resisting. For most of my life I’ve always looked younger than my years. But I think I’m catching up since climbing past 40. And, I’m more content with my physical body than I’ve ever been — even the extra 15 lbs. I rarely wear makeup anymore.

    A client of mine has recently taken on the challenge to go out without makeup on. She has realized that by covering up, she’s been fooling herself about how “healthy” she looked. Now she is starting to focus on how well she takes care of herself, rather than covering up the truth.

    Davinas last blog post..Positively Breathing — 5 Ways to Say Yes to Change

  20. “trying to look young comes from fear”

    people are afraid to grow old because nobody likes anything old. it’s all about the new and latest. when you think old, you think unwanted, useless. i guess that’s how people feel about themselves.

    i believe looking young comes from clean living. take care of your body, no smoking, no drugs, don’t abuse alcohol, etc.

    Naturals last blog post..Mirror, Mirror on the Blog….

  21. Robin, I have been thinking about this since I first read it a couple of days ago, and I guess I both agree and disagree. I see the cycle of our body as natural – birth, maturation, aging, death – just like every plant, season, etc. in the natural, physical world. But I do think our mind-body-spirit are all connected, so problems on one level can contribute to problems on another and the pace of our aging, so I like the ‘feedback’ idea. And I love the passage on how applying lotions or whatever can be either an act of self-love or obsession, and I think that’s true of everything along those lines, from exercise to meditation to herbal medicine, etc. Thanks for a thought-provoking post! Lisa

    Lisa (mommymystic)s last blog post..The Spirituality of Motherhood – Lessons from the REAL Masters

  22. @Mike – Hi there Mike and great to hear from you – I quite agree!
    @Ribbon – it certainly is great – I’ve read about half of it and I’ll finish it off tomorrow – thanks
    @XUP – yeah – I think the external fixes don’t really work anyway.
    @Dot – have you put your straight hair in dreads yet? Just kidding. Wouldn’t an older person be seen as more competent in your job? Something would be really wrong if it wasn’t! I don’t know whether looking young is really related to health and fitness – there are lots of unhealthy, unfit young persons around – they still look young. Like you, I’ve always looked young for my age – and no-one would have ever confused me for an athlete!
    @Mark – hi there Mark – great to see you again. “We must love who we are from the inside out rather than the outside in” – I totally agree!
    @Chris – hi there Chris and welcome to this blog! Thanks for such an insightful comment! – I quite agree.
    @Giovanna – hi Giovanna – being healthy certainly matters – but could we take things a step further?
    @Davina – like you I’ve always looked younger, but the gap has narrowed after 40 – and especially after 50. What has been intriguing is that I have more self-acceptance now than I ever did (though it has been up and down lately – something to work on), as you describe. Interesting about your client.
    @Natural – thanks for the input Val! “i guess that’s how people feel about themselves” – I think so – and people reflect their beliefs right back to them.
    @Lisa – hi there Lisa – yeah, if we respect and love ourselves we will naturally want to go for exercise, decent food and maybe a few potions etc. Thanks for that! About the natural cycles of nature, I’m not trying to convince you or anything, but if you are interested, I have written how I see this in my post ‘Is Death Natural?’, over in the sidebar dressed in pink.

  23. I think there’s a difference between wanting to look young and not wanting to look old. I don’t really mind aging, but I don’t want to look as if I haven’t taken care of myself!

    Mama Zens last blog post..Sunday Sing Along

  24. Hi Robin,

    Your post reminded me of something I recently heard. Women were talking (maybe on Oprah) about aging. Those who were average looking handled aging much better than those who had been real pretty as young women. It goes to show how even being pretty can have its downfalls.

    Barbara Swaffords last blog post..The Secret Is Out – Our Blog Posts Are Not Being Read

  25. I don’t think I’m trying to look younger when I apply my lotion and when I curl my eyelashes. I think I’m just trying to look awake. Applying “my face” (which is a very minimal low-maintenance process) makes me feel more awake. It sounds silly, but that is my reality.

    Stacey / Create a Balances last blog post..Authentic Happiness Series – Part Four (Career)

  26. @Mama Zen – that’s a good way of putting it! We do want to look our best.
    @Barbara – yes it is often difficult for good-looking women. I’ve found that because I wasn’t fit at all when I was young, I have gradually improved over the years instead of going downhill (except for lately)
    @Stacey – and then when we feel better about ourselves we have more energy – sounds good to me!

  27. Hi Robin: That’s an interesting idea: “I see a wrinkle, I must be blocking the life force.” I notice that when I meditate on a regular basis my face looks much fresher than when I don’t.

  28. We can look younger just by smiling – a great place to start.

    Ah, but what is young or younger, really? What should it be?

    To me it’s the a desire to stay active, in mind, body and spirit. To stretch our pyhsical muscles, feel the blood rushing faster in us. To breathe our happiness onto every leaf we pass. To chase our personal passion. To create. To laugh. To love love. To see the best in ourselves and others. To pet a dog, smile at a child or do a little jig in the soup aisle. To kiss a flower.

    Young is to remain open with awe eyes to the beauty of The Great One’s creation and the beauty in all the souls around us.

    Time is not on our side to keep our skin unwrinkled, but it is on our side to keep our hearts in tune with this great universe of positive energy.

    Hey, not bad, eh? 🙂

    Jannie Funsters last blog post..Ordering The Funsterment

  29. Dear Robin,
    Technology only can slow down the process, NOT to stop it. No one able to fight against natural process. Let face the reality and grateful to our living now.

    Refers to your blog title, did you dreaming for eternal life in worldly?

    tiknos last blog post..Mother’s Day – A Tribute for Mother

  30. @Marelisa – hi there Mare – I actually react to wrinkles and other things like that by thinknig “that’s something I can reverse” – and don’t think about it too much but see how I can be more alive. My face isn’t looking too fresh at the moment – hence I am on a blogging slow-down – too much computer!
    @Jannie – Oh Jannie, that is so beautiful! I like especially “Young is to remain open with awe eyes to the beauty of The Great One’s creation and the beauty in all the souls around us.” (as if I could pick a bit out).
    @Tikno – hi there Tikno – sorry it had taken me a while to answer this – I am keeping off my computer. My title is about living forever in our physical bodies (or to be more specific, removing aging and dying from the human experience).

  31. Hi Robin,
    In your reply for me, you said: “My title is about living forever in our physical bodies (or to be more specific, removing aging and dying from the human experience)”

    Are you serious? or just kidding me?

    How could you do that???
    No one able against natural process.

    tiknos last blog post..Reflection From Hunger For Us

  32. I’ve always looked younger than my years – I think it’s the freckles and good teeth – and haven’t thought much about aging except in times when I haven’t been happy with my life. At 30 I felt old and was scared life was slipping me by. Making some tough choices and spending 5 months overseas seeking joy in the moment changed all that. By the time I came back, I felt like a enthusiastic 16 year old again, albeit a confident worldly 16 year old.

    I understand why it must be frightening for people to see change in the mirror, but we really can control HOW MUCH we age. Taking care of ourselves physically and emotionally makes a huge difference. Both my parents are aging well, but I see the difference in them and myself when they are unhappy or resisting life. The lines etch deeper, the eyebrows clench, complexions dull and hair becomes less shiny. Add to that no sparkle from happiness and you can’t help but look older. It’s why people who meditate look younger – releasing to the moment relaxes the body and keeps many of the ‘signs’ of aging at bay.

    I think anything you do that makes you feel better will make you look better. I love massages for smoothing out the lines, the muscles and making you feel a million bucks.

    Kelly

  33. I think our desire to look young is two fold, one is fear as you suggested. The fear is a fear of the inevitable and that is that this body will age and expire. Death is a big fear for many. Couple the fear of death with the endless reminder from mass media and culture that youth is king and we have a culture who thrives on looking young and discards most of who look old.

    Marks last blog post..Nothingness – Enjoying Nothing

  34. Just wanted to say that I’m missing your posts, Robin 🙂

  35. I recall a statement made by Bob Proctor, a businessman and motivational speaker, when he was 73. He commented how many people assume taht getting older means getting sicker, weaker, grumpier and less capable. He chooses to defy these stereotypes. He claims he has more energy than many 20 somethings. He has been ‘healthy as a horse’ for years and attributes that to a diet, exercise and positive outlook. As people step back from media and what other people are saying, they can listen to themselves for the truth.

    Liara Coverts last blog post..How does an NDE change you?

  36. @Tikno – no I’m not kidding you! I’m not claiming to know how to achieve this, but I’m writing about the possibilities in this area, and information about it.
    @Kelly – that’s great about your travels leaving you feeling like a 16 year old (a worldly one – heh), and you make me feel like I really should get a massage!
    @Mark – a culture that discards anyone is not a healthy one, is it?
    @Miguel – thank you Miguel! – I appreciate it.
    @Liara – yes, I agree. And I wonder what could happen if people like Bob with such a great outlook on life went one step further and decided that they were going to live to 300? (to pick a random figure).

  37. Robin, I just discovered your AMAZING blog and I love it! Thought I’d share the following that I wrote some years ago (see, I really am “old” but I can still bend, LOL!)

    I look in the mirror and what do I see?
    An older, grayer, wrinkled me!
    Age has its own beauty, so I’ve been told
    and we have nothing to fear in growing old.

    I tend to agree, there’s nothing to hide;
    the wrinkles and bags are only outside.
    I’ve known this truth for many years
    and the inside of me laughs at all those fears.

    Sometimes I sag and my old bones creak,
    and I wish to be kind of young and sleek,
    just a little while longer, I’ve sometimes said
    in charming sweet dreams in my old head.

    The truth be known, it’s freedom I seek,
    and I get closer with each passing week;
    nail polish was tossed a long time ago
    hair color rejected as frivolous show.

    Debt is no friend, and I long for the end
    of those monthly payments I dutifully send.
    I’m now quite convinced I have all I need
    and less is more, so I’ve been freed!

    Youth doesn’t leave, it just hides itself,
    like a mischievous imp up on a shelf
    waiting with glee for someone to see
    its delightful, insightful energy!

    Older is wiser? Yes, sirree —
    Older has seen life’s misery
    and won’t collapse on aging knee,
    because older knows just how to be
    in tune with all the ups and downs,
    accepting all the smiles and frowns.
    In peace, in trust, in harmony,
    Older dances with the clowns,

    Happily!
    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS =-.

  38. @Jeanne – Hi there Jeanne and welcome to this blog! What an absolutely gorgeous poem! (you’ll see I’ve mentioned it in my next post). Youth doesn’t ever really leave, does it?!

  39. I believe that stress is the biggest cause of aging. When my dad died accidentally, I saw my mom age 10 years in less than a week. 10 Years later, she looks younger than she did just a few years after the accident. Laughter and Joy will keep you young, and if you worry about getting old, it is just adding stress which will age you quicker.

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